Day 75: No Integer Equals
75. A number that sits quietly between worlds.
not quite at the end, not at the beginning, but somewhere deep in the rhythm of transformation.
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In numerology, 7 is the seeker: consciousness turned inward, wisdom born from solitude.
5 is change, curiosity, freedom.
Together they make 75: reflection meeting motion. Knowing and wondering. A kind of elegant restlessness.
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Mathematically, 75 is also known as a “self number” - because no integer, when added to the sum of its own digits, equals 75.
No other number can create it.
It stands alone, formed entirely by itself.
There’s something beautiful in that.
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A reminder that some things are self-made,
self-discovered, not derived from anything else but our own self determination.
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Perhaps that’s what this stage of the journey feels like ; self-generated, self-sustaining.
In sacred faith texts 75 is a call to journey to new lands, is interpreted as the angel number & Surah Al-Qiyamah, which means "The Resurrection," is the 75th chapter of the Quran.
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I can’t believe I’m 3/4 of the way through 100 days of something creative, or maybe something attentive.
A practice of noticing, acknowledging, staying curious.
It’s become less about producing and more about presence.
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Today carried that same energy.
With my students, we worked with 35mm film: slow, tangible, deliberate. They were learning to see, to feel their way through light and focus.
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Watching the spark when curiosity catches fire,
the quiet pride of watching someone realise
they can make something beautiful from their own hands. Nothing compares really.
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Afterwards I went to see Allie in her studio.
She’s been one of my artistic and personal guides for years.
a generous friend, mentor, mirror.
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We talked about our practices, our fears,
the art of showing up for ourselves.
We traded notes on deadlines, shared ideas,
and reminded each other of our own capacity.
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Allie told me it might be time to start writing
from what I do know, instead of circling all the things I don’t. To keep myself in the uncertainty.
And I realised I’m no longer afraid of the in-between, when it comes specifically to my art practice.
I trust my process now, the way it moves and stalls and loops back. The way it takes shape only after I stop trying to force it.
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I told her how I’ve gathered so many different knowledges:
adult social care, radiotherapy, co-production, education, policy, local government, community, research. They’re all part of me now, though I don’t yet know how they’ll come together in what’s next.
She said they all connect through one thing:
my ability to help people find agency and deeper stories.
To hold space for meaning. And then she said, carve the role rather than find it.
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It reminded me of David Whyte’s book on horizons and transitions,
the one D recommended to me after the election loss.
Back then, I felt untethered,
adrift in rough seas.
Now the water feels calmer somehow. The horizon clearer, Inspite of still not sure which way I am going Ingeneral. Instead, I can breathe in it.
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So maybe Day 75, in its quiet mathematics,
is a kind of self-number moment.
standing wholly on its own,
unborrowed, unmanufactured, enough.
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This landed in a very timely way for me. I am also 3/4s of the way through my 2 month pilgrimage, and am feeling ever more the need to be still and look inside. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
I love that you are feeling betterer enough to have these thoughts about futures. xxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx